blah blah blah

it should have been a carry-on
by jill webber

you packed my soul in you suitcase
headed towards london.

did they lose your luggage?

738 greater than great.

good times. my boss said i did a pretty good job on my talk. i’ll be better off believing him. at least it’s over and so now i could concentrate on having a great time in moscow,id. last night we went to ‘the garden’. they serve a couple of good beers on tap. i had fat tire, moose drool and alaskan ale. fat tire was the one i liked the most. it was kind of weird going home at 12am, too early i know, but my eyes were shutting involuntarily. come to think of it, it was already 3pm in blacksburg and my body says i shouldn’t be drinking anymore at this time.

this morning, i woke up early to hike with krista on the elk river falls. it was really nice. now i’m really having a great time. we had lunch at the ‘white horse’ cafe in a small town and got to meet some townies. i spend the rest of the afternoon reading ‘hunted’ in a cozy coffee shop downtown moscow. i was able to steal some internet time right now waiting for my boss for us to have dinner.

i wish i could share the better side of my stories but i will not spoil them until i get to post some pictures that go with them. so for now, here’s something i read from a vandal in a restroom…

‘this is not happening. this is not history. there is no now.’

later.

744. money = music = ice cream

barely had sleep. 3 hours to be exact. i guess to some that is a luxury, but 7 hours is what makes my body working. if only i didn’t run for 3 miles and played tennis for 3 hours, then maybe i wouldn’t feel sore and lethargic. endorphins could only go so far.

of why i decided to wear myself out, i’m not so sure but i’m officially stressed out for this talk i’m giving in 4 days. the presentation is less than half an hour, but it will be the longest half an hour yet of my life. good thing is that it is on the first few days of the conference. i could get the talk out of the way and basically feel relax the entire time. i don’t know what moscow, idaho has to offer but for a grad student, you always take what you can get.

and i’m getting some ice cream for now. because according to the guardian, "Eating ice cream really does make you happy. Scientists have found that a spoonful of the cold stuff lights up the same pleasure centre in the brain as winning money or listening to your favourite music."

so tickle me, a spoonful please.

745. working my ass off

cherry-flavored gum

(stuck on my left shoe)

i’ve been here sitting alone, again.

you left me don’t you remember?

now i’m all perplexed.

it must have been my silence,

it must have been my shame.

I should have known,

quietude leads to boredom

and boredom finds action by itself.

that must have been the reason

i’m here standing alone, again.

you left me, don’t you remember.

now you left me with no one.

now you left with nothing.

nothing but this

cherry-flavored gum.

red. sweet. sticky.

chewy.

you would have seen me blush

when you came near,

if not for this

red cherry-flavored gum

that you may have mistaken

for a smudge on my face,

it must have been a disgrace

unable to move, unable to say.

you would have heard me speak

things I wanted to reveal

if not for this

sweet cherry flavored gum

that locked my jaw

clipped my lips, stupified my tongue

unable to move, unable to say.

easily it loses its flavor

quickly it passes by…

now I have to see you go

too bad (it’s sad), I should have let you know…

i would have followed you

when you walked away

if not for this

sticky cherry-flavored gum

that mounted me to the ground,

tied me to this earth

prevented me from trying.

unable to move, unable to say…

nevertheless,

i’m beginning to like it,

the only thing I have now

stuck on my shoe,

as my heart is to you. still

unable to move,

unable to say.

my cherry flavored-gum

red, sweet, sticky, chewy.

meant to last for awhile…

(sweet while you lasted though)

746. always turn the lights off.

for the past week , i have been partying a lot. it’s ok. it’s the time of the year. end of classes, graduation, start of summer…different reasons to go out everyday. but it is now sunday, start of a new week, and this time i have to work my ass off to come up with a presentation before i leave for the west on thursday. 

while drinking my afternoon coffee, of all the things that are going on around the world, it is sad that i paid attention to this. from msnbc news, a democratic representative in the form of Al Edwards of texas argued that ’sexually suggestive cheerleading exhibitions are a distraction that results in pregnancies, dropouts and the contraction of AIDS and herpes’ and should be prohibited. wow. maybe we should blame my lack of positive results in the lab for the continuing insurgencies in iraq.

thinking that there is no reason for virginians to be smarter than the texans, i tried to look at funny, if not ’stupid’, state and local laws and found this site. from the list given, here are my top 5:

5. In Prince William County… No person may keep a skunk as a pet.

4. In Richmond… It is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee

3. In Lebanon… It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.

2. It is illegal to tickle women.

1. Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.

if these are true, specially the latter,  i wonder what are the sanctions and penalties for violating such acts? next, who implements them? nonetheless, it would probably be a good idea to persistently demand my landlord to replace the blinds in our apartment for a functional one.

next week, by about 7:30pm, i’ll be in a crowded bookstore wating in a long cue to see the man behind the guts. damn right, i’ll be in menlo park,ca to hear chuck palahniuk read his stories. menlo park, about half an hour off san francisco, is one of my pit stops in this 12-day west coast tour. not exactly a tour. the real reason i’m heading west is because of a talk i have to give on may 22 in a geoscience conference at the university of idaho in moscow. since i am already out there, i might as well travel around the area. as of the now, flying out of raleigh(nc), the itinerary goes something like oakland(ca)-san francisco(ca)-spokane(wa)-moscow(id)- breathe -coeur d’alene(id)-seattle(wa)-portland(or)-breathe -los angeles(ca)-san diego(ca)- breathe. not including phoenix(az) and las vegas(nv), where my frequent layovers would be. when i come back, there would be lots of stories from on and off the map to tell, enough to fill this blog. but for now, reality check, it is 749 and still counting.

now for the filler…

CO₂

exhale.

forget, air, essence, melancholy,

us, never, tomorrow, sorry,

cubed-heaven, iris, light, forever,

come, drink, dose, dream, sober, over.

haunted, again, reverberating, million, if’s,

misplaced, wrong-timed, denied, good-bye, gifts,

removed, i, dive, ocean, forgetfulness,

yesterday, gone, left, hand, nothingness.

whatever, happened, look, back, empty,

darkened, lost, me, you, history,

tonight, stars, tale, pain, witnesses,

hoping, somehow, us, but, only, wind, kisses.

inhale.

751. cowardly yours

during lunch break, i came across this on msnbc news… it is the Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe opening today in berlin. yes, it is basically a field of closely set, 2711, dark gray, concrete slabs dedicated to the 6 million european jews (keyword:european) killed by the nazi government.  this holocaust memorial was designed by peter eisenman, a jewish american architect (keyword:american). germany’s most prominent jewish leader (keyword:prominent), however, thinks that the memorial was ‘too abstract to convey as powerful a message as authentic places of suffering, such as former death camps’. what??? hmm…ok. so i wonder, what design would be most fitting? nevermind. i would rather keep my mouth shut, lest i be suspected anti-semitic.

closer to home now, i found this http://www.fbi.gov/mostwant/parent/fernandez.htm , a filipina mother(keyword:filipina) is wanted by the fbi for international parental kidnapping. hmm…i also would rather keep my mouth shut on this, lest i be suspected an accomplice.

p.s. aren’t they glad she’s not asking for ransom?

752. shallow…hollow

so i was trying to free more spaces in my almost 5 yr old laptop, when i came across an old file titled ‘cherry-flavored gum’.  suddenly it was the year 1999 all over again. (ah…good times!).

i was then an instructor at the institute of chemistry at UPLB, a semi-decent triathlete, a playwright and…then came this file, a poet wannabe. ‘cherry…’ is a collection of about 13 quasi-poems, although i intended them to be songs looking for melodies. it was my first and last attempt of writing something that isn’t prose. some said it wasn’t that bad, some even liked it. but reading them now only confuses me. how come something that used to be meaningful can now only be so shallow and hollow to me? believe me, the answer is tougher than what you think it is. and while you ponder on it, here’s a taste of the gum. i will post the rest during times i can’t think of anything better to post.

loophole

lest i fall back to this pith of shadows,

embraced once again by hidden lies,

once treasured by the core

of my own miseries and mysteries.

left alone in the midst of anticipation

of expectations and wanting,

(i remain) still groping for the unseen tie

that wishfully binds your heart to mine

and mine to yours.

hoping at the other end

your grip fights over,

losing strength,

as i, defeated and slowly fading.

and yet another name adds to the list,

of hopefuls soon to be missed.

a wishful thinker’s pitfall to pry on,

an addition to clogged-heart array.

as i have been betrayed,

reaching the top, finding myself,

tied to a rock. ice-cold, behold.

"Loving is good if your dick’s made of wood
And the dick left inside only half understood her
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away yeah
What makes him stall, what makes him stand
And what shakes the elephant now
And what makes a man.."

i heard a song called ‘the professor’ and i do have to give kudos to damien rice. i first heard of him from nichol’s ‘closer’ where his ‘blower’s daughter’ started and ended the movie. his cd ‘O’ wasn’t incredibly great, at least for me, but hearing him play live and reading his lyrics made me reconsider.

"Here’s to another relationship
Bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease."

i wish nayna has already discovered this guy and hopefully made her fall sleep, in a good way.

"…Loving is good if it’s not understood
Yeah, but I’m the professor
And feel that I should know
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away…" - Damien Rice ‘The Professor’

*photo by robbie fry and all links taken from www.damienrice.com

fridays have always been great. and for the past year,  it almost became a habit for some guys from our department to spend friday afternoons (at least those that are warm enough) playing disc golf.

According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disc_golf,  "Disc Golf is a game based on the rules of golf (referred to by disc golfers as "ball golf"). It uses flying discs which are similar to the Frisbee™, but usually smaller and heavier. The discs are thrown towards an elevated target, which serves as the ‘hole’. "

i have never really heard about disc golf until last summer. my only motivation to come along was the beer. it turned out to be fun and interesting. my first few games though were terrible and i always have to blame it on the beer. but that excuse became old and so i had to either look for a new one or try to figure out the game. i chose the latter and in the process came across this site: which explains the history of disc golf and frisbee as well. so here’s to ‘steady’ ed for making fridays more than the usual!

<—i’ll give a buck to the first person who finds the hole.

(no, hunter is not mad. neither is nathan pissing on the tree nor is dave looking at it.)

754…